Vietnam Memorial

The Vietnam War Memorial. I had a chance to visit this memorial on a few occasions.  As a DoD contractor, I took numerous trips to Langley, VA, and to Washington D.C. I  had the privilege to see the Lincoln and Washington Memorials, as well as the White House, Korean War Memorial, and other sites. But the one that really got to me personally was the Vietnam Memorial Wall. I went there for a reason, as when I told my parents I was going to visit D.C., they asked me to go there and use a pencil and paper to sketch over a relative's name (my cousin), who died in Vietnam.  I never knew him very well, as I was too young when he left. He was in the Army. I only knew is name, and knew what he looked like from a picture. He was a helicopter gunner, and was shot down, with no survivors. I am not a very emotional guy outwardly, and not easy to tear up.  But this was different.  When I saw the wall for the first time, I started feeling emotions immediately.  I can't explain it or why. It was like the emotions were coming at me out of the wall. I saw many people there who were in tears, which I didn't think was out of place or weird, considering I knew they were crying for lost relatives or friends. What I was not ready for was the overflow of emotions that I experienced when I saw my cousins name on that wall. It flooded all over me.  I was crying, and couldn't seem to stop.  I have never done that before, and really couldn't understand why I was feeling like that. I barely knew him. Unless you've been there, I can't really describe it to you. It really felt like you were visiting THEM! Like their spirit was there. I am not one to believe in such things. It was overwhelming me. That's not easy, after all that I've been through. I had to walk away for a while to gather myself. I was shook up, to say the least! Never before that time, and never since, have I ever felt like that! It was scary real! When I finally got my composure back, I went back to his name to do the pencil thing to give to my family.  As I started to trace his name, it all hit me again. I was again crying like a baby, and couldn't stop shaking.  That's not me!  I'm not like that!
When I was leaving, I talked to one of the people who has worked there for a while.  When I admitted what happened to me, he just smiled and said that it happens every single day to almost everyone. It was not uncommon at all. He told me that he had witnessed so many different emotions from so many different types of individuals that he wasn't in the least surprised by my story. He told me he had seen highly decorated, battle tested, tough, been-thru-it-all soldiers that weeped like a child when they got close to the wall. The most surprising thing he said was that visitors who had no relatives on the wall, had no one ever in the military, and who just stopped by to see it, would suddenly burst into tears when they got near the wall. It really felt like the emotions from the wall were just taking you over.
I went back again about two years later.  It was mostly a test to see if what I experienced was a fluke. I was more ready this time, and prepared, I thought, by what happened to me the last time. I couldn't see it happening again to me if I already knew what to expect.  I was dead wrong!  The minute I got close enough to that wall, I was again overcome with tears. I even said it out loud, "I don't believe it!". How can this be happening again? If you have been there, maybe you experienced the same type of "emotional overflow" that I did. Maybe you didn't. Either way, I can't deny that it happened to me and many others. And it was way too real for me!

(Update: Since I did the last entry, two of my uncles (father's brothers) have passed away. Both were in the military. One for 4 years, and one for 8 years. My father is currently 90, and an ex-Marine)